So you’ve worked in retail and you hate Christmas time. It makes sense because everybody goes batshit crazy during the festive period. But imagine having to work up to 11pm on Christmas Eve. That’s where life has brought me. After five years of studying to be a pharmacist, I have to ruin my Christmas just because somebody might need their life saving.

I’m not a superhero guys. I don’t save lives; I just make them tolerable with a bottle of Night Nurse.


So I spoke to a colleague of mine. I’ll call her Sophie ‘Rophie’, just to keep her anonymous. She had a lot of things that she could complain about in regards to customers in a pharmacy during the Christmas period.

The first of these is what I like to call ‘Customer Butts’. No I’m not talking about the huge arseholes we have to endure. Well, they are arseholes but that’s not the point I’m trying to make.

You see, there are certain members of public who think they are better informed to recommend medication to their fellow human beings in their time of medical need. They think they’re doing the world a service but what they don’t know is, they’re not really helping… at all.

In fact they’re making everything a whole lot worse by opening their mouths and sprouting their non-sense. Can you imagine trying hard to sincerely give some serious piece of advice to some idiot who thinks they’re going to die with a cold… And then some randomer decides to butt-in claiming they know better and recommend something to this poor dying chap. It’s like my professional opinion doesn’t even count. That’s just uncalled for considering I’ve spent 5 years studying this crap.

Sometimes it makes me question why I even bother. But then I realise, I’m responsible for the healthcare of the public and it is my duty to inform people about their stupid decisions.


Then we have the people who decide to leave buying everything at the very last minute. If it wasn’t bad enough trying to organise everybodies medication to be ready to collect before they go for their Christmas holidays, we have some morons who have yet to decide what fragrance to get for their significant others.

Clearly they’re not significant enough if you’ve only realised to buy them a gift at the very last possible moment. If only there was a way to send this information to your relative partners. That would be the perfect Christmas Present for both parties.


And to top it all off, you get the odd cheery customers claiming you’ve ruined their Christmas. Yes, I am being compared to the Grinch just because I refused to serve them at the pharmacy till as they decided to do some last minute grocery shopping when I have a queue of actual patient’s, patiently awaiting their chance to treat their medical conditions.

Woman, if you somehow happen to figure out how to log on to the internet and are reading this post, you know who you are and yes I am posting about you on the god-damned internet. How do you like me now?


Despite the struggles and the monstrosities that you may have to face during the festive period, there is always the cheerful old couple who drop by and leave you a box of appreciation. I’m talking about chocolates here. This is what the pharmacy staff lives for; the free treats. It just means that your efforts have been recognized and as a token of gratitude, here is something to show for it.

I have noted people are generally more friendly during this time of year and most of them do realise it’s the Christmas period. This post is dedicated to the rapscallions who refuse to acknowledge the pharmacy staff as humans and make outrageous demands without a damn of appreciation. I wish you got lousy gifts and all your New Year’s Resolutions end up rotting in hell.


Those of you who work in a pharmacy, all I’m saying is… “The struggles are real mate; the struggles are real.”


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