Now I’m not usually an angry person. I am somebody who usually keeps his anger in check in the outside world but when it comes to being at home, I develop this exploding attitude that develops into this raging anger at the slightest of provocation.
Challenge me and I am bound to explode at you. Now this isn’t something I am proud of and I often regret it as well but sometimes I feel that you have to let out a bit of steam. You can’t keep it bottled up inside you all day long.
That mask I put on in front of the world has to be put away when I come home and it frightens me what I am when the mask comes off. I prefer my masked self as it is much more civilized and gentle.
Now I don’t want to live my life without being myself. That would be living a lie but at the same time, I need to change my true self to become more like my fake personality so that I don’t end up ruining the relationships I have developed over the years. Life has such dilemma’s that sometimes I’m confused as to how I’m supposed to live my life.
Perhaps it’s just my fault for being such a sarcastic bastard. Maybe I should just try being nice all the time but that would be too similar to my fake personality. Do you know how hard it can be to be nice all day long? But how do I manage it at work all the time? This is really something I need to think about.
I think I’m just rambling now but it’s something that’s really bothering me. But there might be one other option. Perhaps I need to develop a new personality. Something that combines both my actual personality and a my fake work personality. I could call it ‘THE HYBRID’.
I could just leave my Hybrid Personality on all the time and leave it at that. Don’t have to worry about who I am currently playing and just live life in cruise control.
If anybody has any other idea’s for me, I would really appreciate them. Share your own problems as well below, if you have any such similar problems.